You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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