im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
