Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
