Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
