who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
