Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
