physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
