It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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