i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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