Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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