she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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