just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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