you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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