Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
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I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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