he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
