i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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