New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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