i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
