there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
