Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
