I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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