So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
