We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
