so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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