I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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