tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
