Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
