Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
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you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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