Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize