either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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