im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
