Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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