you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
