It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
