I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
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Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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