Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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