hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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