I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
