I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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