Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
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