Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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