people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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