Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
