Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
