She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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