so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
