the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
