I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize