I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
