I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My ATM looks so different sober.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
