P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
