haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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