It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
