did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
