So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
