Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
