Cold hands, warm shart.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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