we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he shaved USA in his pubs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
