It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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