What did we do last night that was yellow?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
