My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
